20. They argue over everything. You cannot get two Chinese to agree on what time it is.
19. Driving is a battle to be won.
18. They are very superstitious. For instance, buildings are built based on numbers they think are lucky (9 steps; 1, 3, 5 pillars, which total 9, etc.)
17. They have legends for everything, like how mountains are named, which they believe actually happened. For example, there was a battle where they say weapons fell out of the sky into the hands of Genghis Khan soldiers, which they not only believe actually happened, they built a monument to commemorate.
16. They do not believe in craftsmanship, or attention to detail, all that matters is how it looks. For example, I stayed in really nice hotel rooms, but nothing ever worked.
15. They are cheap. Even in the really nice hotels, the wealthy people wore the knock-off clothes, bags and watches. See above.
14. They will eat ANYTHING. I think "stinky tofu" as it is called could be used for riot control in the US. It smells like you ate it, threw it up, ate it again, and then pooped it out. It could taste like pumpkin pie, but I'll never know.
13. The entire country smells like moth balls or ass, or sometimes both. They use moth balls as an air freshener. And you don't have to ever ask where a toilet is, if you are within a block you will know.
12. I would argue their last significant contribution to world culture was during the Ming Dynasty. Their TV sucks, their movies are American, and their music sounds like someone stepped on a cat's tail. The guide told me they only have 4 national books, one of which is about a magic monkey. And let's not forget the fine cuisine.
11. Waiting in line is a battle to be won. Jamming into a funnel at the airport gate serves no purpose other than to irritate me and is moronic. The seats are assigned, for christ's sake. You'll have like 80 year old women shoving in front of you.
10. They put sugar on vegetables and salt on fruit.
9. They throw their used toilet paper into a waste basket. As a general rule, I consider any country that does that as "uncivilized."
8. Half of them are blind. They have to hold a book maybe 6" from their face to read the tiny Kanji. And they assume the blinder you are, the smarter you are. People that don't wear glasses are privately looked down upon (which is why I think no one wears contacts)
7. They can fall asleep anywhere, anytime.
6. They believe that you have to yell into cell phones.
5. Car horns are used much the same way we use turn signals, to indicate intention.
4. There is no internet porn. The smart guys who need it the most have a hard time concentrating.
3. Kids go to school 12 hours a day. They have no sports to speak of, academics are considered a sport. If we wanted to take over a university, all it would take is a beer truck and some girls-gone-wild. If we want to ensure democracy for future generations, all UN decisions should be decided by beer pong. Though Mongolia would be tough.
2. Toddlers do not wear diapers, they have these little Chinese version of chaps where their ass hangs out and they can just make their doodie wherever. Not sure how that works, however, if you start em off training them to go on a newspaper or what...
And the number one reason China will never take over the world-
1. They squat down and poo in a hole in the ground. And no one, ever, ever, thinks it is necessary to clean that hole.
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